There is a memory from many years ago that still, now and then, asserts itself to me. The memory beckons me to consider two questions: Have I fulfilled my pledge? Have I brought goodness into the world today?

It was early 2007. I had dropped off my 18-month-old child and a diaper bag at my in-laws’ home, borrowed a train ticket, and boarded a train to Toronto where I was meant to be teaching a workshop for the day. I was already well on my way to Union Station when I realized that I had left my wallet in the diaper bag – meaning I had no money to buy a subway token that would allow me to complete my journey to the workshop.

An Unexpected Act of Kindness

Returning for my wallet or calling my workshop host for a ride would have made me unreasonably late. As I stood at Union Station wondering what to do, I realized I had only one option left: Beg. I waited at a kiosk where people were buying subway tokens and after several minutes worked up the courage to ask a man whether he would offer me one of his tokens, with the promise that, if he could provide me his address, I would pay him back. The man looked a bit uncomfortable at first but then said to me: “Here – take these five dollars – then you can buy yourself two tokens to get you there and back today and you’ll have enough extra money to get yourself a coffee. And you don’t need to pay me back.” Then he left. I bought my tokens but did not get a coffee. Instead, I shared the remaining money with a busker and a man begging for change.

A Commitment to Pay It Forward

As the day progressed, my thoughts returned to the man who gave me five dollars. “I can’t pay him back,” I thought, “but I will pay it forward.”

And so, with relative regularity, I find myself thinking – have I fulfilled my commitment to pay it forward? Dollar for dollar the answer is yes. I have paid to others in need well over the five dollars the man gave me.

But the question still knocks at the door of my heart: How are you bringing goodness into the world today?

An Urgent Question for 2025

In 2025, the question of how I am bringing goodness into the world is more than a casual question. Indeed, it is an urgent question that is knocking at the door of each one of our hearts.

A few weeks ago, during a workshop exercise, I asked participants to describe how the larger context outside their organizations is impacting the people they lead. In response, the workshop participants offered words such:

Despair. Loneliness. Grief. Sorrow. Uncertainty.

I have led this exercise many times over the years: Never before have workshop participants produced so dire of a list. But who can argue with them? Even a cursory review of newspaper headlines leads to the same conclusion. And so, the question knocks urgently at the door of our hearts: How are you bringing goodness into the world today?

 

 

Healing Through Listening and Understanding

Recently, I completed a mediation between several colleagues whose relationships had fallen into disrepair. In preparation for the mediation sessions, each colleague took a hard look at their contribution to the conflict, they explored what their true needs were, and they asked themselves why having those needs met was so important to them. The mediation itself quickly felt like sacred ground. I’m not saying it was easy – it wasn’t. But the commitment each person displayed to really hearing the other and really listening to what the other needed of them was so meaningful and so tender, I realised that I was becoming a better person just for having witnessed this exchange. The conversation between these colleagues, and the healing resulting from it, brought goodness into the world.

The Power of Being Heard

During a conversation regarding polarization, a woman shared with me that during Covid she met with a friend with whom she disagreed about vaccinations. The woman decided not to argue with her friend. Instead, she would simply listen and ask questions. Several days later, the woman’s friend decided to become vaccinated. When the woman asked her friend why she had changed her mind, her friend replied: You were the first person to actually listen to me rather than shouting at me. The woman’s approach to her friend brought goodness into the world – not because her friend was vaccinated, but because the conversation between the two women was meaningful, kind, and ultimately, transformative.

Do Small Acts Matter? Absolutely.

Will these small examples turn around the larger social context of sorrow and despair? No.

Will my small acts of paying it forward turn around the sociopolitical uncertainty in our world? No.

Do our acts of goodness matter nonetheless? Absolutely.

• When we truly see someone.
• When we allow ourselves to be seen.
• When we listen deeply.
• When we attend to the longings around us for meaning and belonging.
• When we serve the organizations we lead with integrity.
• When we remember the humanity of each person we encounter.

In all these ways, we are responding positively to the question knocking urgently at the door of our hearts: How are you bringing goodness into the world today?

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Interested in learning more about the foundations of conflict? Register for Credence’s workshops “Understanding Conflict Foundations” (May 12 – 13) and “Understanding Conflict Advanced” (May 14 – 15).

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