Over the past several years Credence has received a significant increase in the number of requests for our workshop on how to lead meetings well.

Some requests come with a tone of despair, with concerns like: “The people on our team are fine people, but when it comes to meetings it is like ‘herding cats’.” “People at our organization don’t pay attention—they talk over each other, interrupt, have side conversations or respond to emails when they should be listening.” “Nobody comes to our meetings prepared.” “We talk in circles.” “The people here are really nice but at meetings, they behave so aggressively.” “The agenda is so full, we don’t get to the real issues.” “We used to have meetings but the bullying by participants got to be so bad, we cancelled meetings altogether.”

Some of the stories people have told us about their meetings are distressing enough that it is worth asking, “Why meet? If meetings are so frustrating, could we not just cancel meetings altogether? Are meetings necessary for us to do our work?” There are many reasons to meet, of course, but one rises above all others: None of us is smart or wise alone. We meet to benefit from one another’s knowledge, insight, and wisdom. These gifts are lost, however, when meetings go poorly and when people come to meetings with a sense of despair rather than possibility.

To ensure meetings are effective, Credence offers the following four tips:

1. Starting Well

It is often tempting to jump directly into meeting content when people arrive; indeed, doing so is sometimes important. When people enter the meeting room physically, (whether in person or online) we may assume that they are ready to dive into the agenda, but most people must also enter the room mentally and emotionally before they can fully engage. Taking time to transition into the meeting makes for better conversation. Inviting people to “fully” enter the meeting space is especially important for people who, because of busy schedules, need space to shift their hearts and minds away from what they were working on and into the content of the meeting agenda.

To invite people’s fuller entry into the meeting space, consider allowing for and even inviting a “water cooler conversation” at the start of the meeting — a check-in round or a relatively easy but salient question that allows people to connect with one another before tackling the tough topics on the meeting agenda. The technical term for this type of check-in round is called “disclosure reciprocity.” When a person shares something about themselves that includes an appropriate level of vulnerability, others will follow suit. This type of mutual vulnerability creates connection, brings people “into the room”, and generates creativity, ultimately leading to better conversations and the development of more durable solutions for whatever the team is wrestling with.

2. Meeting Behaviour & Role Clarity

When people enter a meeting, they tend to set aside responsibility for their own behaviour, in the same way one takes off a coat upon entering a building. Then people wait for the leader to govern the meeting, matching their behaviour to the tone the leader sets. Knowing this dynamic can help leaders prepare more effectively. For example, if the leader is highly anxious, the people will respond with anxiety-driven behaviour. If the leader is calm, the people will respond more calmly.

Behavioural mirroring between leaders and participants is especially critical when it comes to questions of role clarity. If the leader does not maintain role clarity, the people will act accordingly, creating even more role confusion. For example, what decisions does the leader make alone? What decisions are for input only? What decisions are made by consensus? What is the team responsible for? What discussions belong elsewhere? Who is meant to be leading the meeting? What behaviours are acceptable at the meeting? Who has permission to call people back to these behaviours? Developing and maintaining role clarity, especially with respect to the responsibilities that “belong” to leaders and participants brings a sense of ease into the conversation, supporting effective participation.

3. Effective Discussions

A common complaint about meetings is the way meetings go in circles: groups repeat conversations without reaching decisions. Leaders can upend circular conversations by ensuring the following questions are addressed by the person bringing the agenda item to the table:

• What is the issue we are discussing? Why is this matter coming to us now? (While these seem like obvious questions, this information is not always clear to meeting participants or even the presenter.)
• Is this matter ours to deal with? (For example, for governance boards, is this a matter of governance or operations?)
• Is this a matter for information, discussion, or decision? (Remember to follow the 3x rule for all important conversations – the matter comes to the group first for information, secondly for discussion, and finally for decision. This rule ensures people have time to think through an issue before needing to plan.)
• What do we know about this issue already? What is the history behind this issue? What decisions have we already made?
• What constraints do we need to take into consideration? What are the key themes, influences, and challenges related to this issue? How do each of us feel about the issue?
• If the matter under discussion involves a decision, what information do we need to know to make an informed decision? What are the pros and cons of the various options? What criteria do we want to keep in mind as we make this decision?

4. Meeting Mediators

Effective meetings invite healthy disagreement – after all, groups need a diversity of perspectives to reach meaningful and durable conclusions. Unfortunately, when people disagree with one another, it is easy for them to shift from healthy disagreement into conflict. As a result, leading meetings well draws on mediation skills, including:

• clarifying the intention behind people’s comments;
• paraphrasing or asking clarifying questions to ensure understanding;
• asking open-ended questions to invite people to expand on what they shared;
• building bridges between different perspectives; and
• offering well-placed summaries to keep the momentum of the conversation moving forward.

While the tips Credence has provided speak most directly to leaders, meeting participants can play an active role in helping meetings to go well. By taking responsibility for one’s own behaviour, asking questions and providing comments in a manner that supports clarity, engaging meaningfully in conversations, and by practicing mediation skills within the meeting, participants join leaders in helping meetings to go well.

Meetings, how they are managed and how they are experienced, significantly impact a congregation’s ability to achieve its goals. Effective meetings help us, and our organizations make smarter and wiser decisions. By decreasing the frustration that comes from meetings that go in circles, effective meetings also increase workplace joy. Just as importantly, effective meetings create connections and community among colleagues, increasing the ability to think of staff to think together, ultimately strengthening the group’s ability to achieve its vision.

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Supporting Leaders, Engaging Teams. Transforming Organizations.

 

1. In April 2025, Betty offered an article regarding how to navigate decision-making during meetings. Click here to read the full article: April 2025: Collaborative Conversations & Consensus
2. When meetings go in circles, so does momentum. Credence’s Leading Meetings Workshop supports leaders to bring clarity, focus, and forward motion to the table. Credence offers practical tools for managing difference, building buy-in, and leading with impact. Book a complimentary consultation today.

Originally published in July 2025